Anyone Take In Someone Else's Teenager?

[ontariopiper]

This is one of those things I never thought I'd end up doing. Our elder daughter is away at university, and daughter #2 is a junior in high school. Given my recent health issues, we had seriously been thinking of downsizing from our 4-bed house to a 3-bed condo apartment; in fact, we were a whisker away from signing on the dotted line.

And then we took in one of our younger daughter's friends who had found herself in a less-than-ideal living situation - basically on her own, living in what amounted to a flop in a rooming house full of middle-aged men. No place for a teenage girl, we thought, and we still think so.

So now the bloom is off the rose for our daughter - living with a friend is a LOT different than seeing them every day at school and then going about your own business. I'm sure she'll find her equilibrium (after a longer than necessary and probably dramatic growing up period).

Anyone else done something like this and lived to tell the tale?

 

[Ozark Wizard]

Oh my, yes.......

Adolescence is a tough time for folks, no matter the gender. In my younger years, I became the "Block Father" and took in a few wayward teens at one time or another. They became lessons in cultural awareness, dictates in personal spaces, political and social boundaries. Friction in the home? Palpable, to say the least. But the hard lessons were well earned, and remembered by all, and I have to admit everyone involved came out the better for the experiences.

Though it can feel, at the time, like riding the bull for the full count without a rope. You'll survive, so will your daughter.

 

[ontariopiper]

Thanks for the wisdom, Wiz. I grew up in a family of boys, where conflicts were short, intense and then over. Teenage girls are a whole other creature! I imagine I'll add a few more grey hairs to the collection along the way here, but they're inherently good kids. I have faith they'll come our of this better for the experience, assuming I don't bollux things up too badly. ?

 

[Ozark Wizard]

You cannot imagine the psychological sparring my girls employed... Sometimes I still flinch....

The boys, you see them come in looking like they both fell down a flight of stairs, and know they had things worked out. They were both *****, if you asked the other one's opinion, but they would soon have the fences mended. Until the next push...........

 

[ontariopiper]

Your experience definitely mirrors mine. Can't tell you how many arguments between my brothers and I followed this pattern -

Guy 1: "Ass!" (punches other guy's shoulder).
"Let's go something."

Guy 2: "Yeah, okay."

Girls are vicious creatures by comparison.

 

[huffelpuff]

Done it. Had the cops show up saying we were going to be charged for harboring a runaway. Its a huge change and the psychological warfare you will be subjected to will be daunting to say the least. Stand firm don't let them get too butt hurt over things. They will come through the experience with a much better understanding of how to get on in the world. Oh and you are absolutely right a flop house full of middle aged men is no place for a teenage girl. I wish you the best of luck with it and bless you Charles its not many men that will do what you're doing.

Jim

 

[ontariopiper]

Thanks Jim. She's a good kid, and motivated to improve herself. Does well at school, has a part time job, and a viable plan for post-secondary education. Living where/how she was put all that at risk; we could at least offer a stable home life.

 

[Lonecoyote]

I too have taken in a runaway a number of years ago. Always notify the local police and Child Protective Servives, which is part of Social Services. Make them aware of your intervention and your intentions. 
You also need too cover yourself and family. 
Even though in your heart you know your doing the right thing, however you don't want this to blow up in your face. I'm sure you understand what I mean. 


GOOD LUCK AND ALL THE BEST. YOUR A GOOD PERSON

 

[ontariopiper]

Indeed. We did our homework before jumping into this. Here in Ontario a child can decide where he/she will live once they reach the age of 16. We also managed to get the support of one of her parents, which makes things a lot easier.

So far I'd say things are going well, small bumps in the road and all. Ideally, she moves back to her family home at some point but we're prepared to have her with us until she finishes high school if need be. As I said, a good kid in a crappy situation.

 

[Lonecoyote]

Charles, your a good person with a heart of gold. Same with your wife and daughter. All the best to you and yours :cheers:






JUST THINK, IF THERE WERE MORE PEOPLE LIKE YOU ON THIS EARTH!! WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD IT WOULD BE!!

 

[ontariopiper]

Just trying to help where we can, LC. Sometimes it really does take a village, as the saying goes. ?

 

[huffelpuff]

Unfortunately the it takes a village saying is all to true anymore. So many people get themselves in way over their heads and at such a young age that they have nobody they can turn too. In the last 20 years we've opened our hearts and our house 5 times. Only once did we end up regretting it.

Jim