How to survive a free-falling elevator

[Bub]

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/13/science/what-is-the-best-option-in-a-free-falling-elevator.html?_r=1
Although this informative article answers an important question, it fails to mention that your first step should be to remove your pipe from your mouth.

 

[dougc905]

If an elevator could actually fall more than a few feet, I'd never get in one.

 

[Doc Manhattan]

I always heard that if you're in a rapidly-falling elevator, the best option is to lower your center of mass by crouching down. Then, you should secure your head between your knees and kiss your ass goodbye.