Negotiating during job interview

[MartinH]

Hey Guys,

I have a question. My wife is interviewing for career changing job. The problem is that it would mean a cross country move, which means I need a job as well. So here's the thing, I know you don't talk money or benefits during the initial job interview, but how do you bring up the honest fact that you simply can't accept the job unless there is a place for the husband? We can't live on one salary, that's the real problem.

Here is also some background, from my point of view. On the one hand, I absolutely love my job, I love what I do and the people I work with. It's the dream job. On the other hand, my wife is totally, absolutely, completely miserable at what she does. This might be the chance of a lifetime to make a change for the positive in her life. Despite my love for my job, I'm 100% behind her, if I can find a job and be happy as well.

Ah, one of those life's big conundrums.

Hey, maybe I should be a "house husband" spend my time smoking my pipes, carving some, and working on my writing? LOL -- yeah right!

Any advice is appreciated.

 

[Dave_In_Philly]

I am in the midst of my third significant job search (and I have previously interviewed new candidates for my firm). I don't agree that you don't discuss money during the initial interview. It may not be the right time to start negotiating, but I think that everyone's expectations need to be on the same page. It would be shame to go through a tedious interview process only to then learn the job pays half what you expected. I find that I am typically asked what my expectations are, and often what my current salary is. Personally, I choose not to divulge my expectations, but I honestly state my current salary and explain that I am looking for a raise in pay.

Best of luck to both of you!

 

[MartinH]

I am in the midst of my third significant job search (and I have previously interviewed new candidates for my firm). I don't agree that you don't discuss money during the initial interview. It may not be the right time to start negotiating, but I think that everyone's expectations need to be on the same page. It would be shame to go through a tedious interview process only to then learn the job pays half what you expected. I find that I am typically asked what my expectations are, and often what my current salary is. Personally, I choose not to divulge my expectations, but I honestly state my current salary and explain that I am looking for a raise in pay.

Best of luck to both of you!

Hey Dave,

Thanks for your feedback. I see your point of view, and I know that there have been instances where I've hired for positions, and the candidates and I have did discuss benefits. However, for all of these positions a salary range was posted. Although we all know what that really means. 99% of the time, you're getting the bottom of the range. My wife did get the advice to be upfront about the "package deal." In other words, she comes with a family and a husband who needs to work as well. I tell you, if we can make this happen, it might be positve life change for all of us.

Right now we live in a not-so-good neighborhood, selling our house at enough profit to afford a decent house in this area seems untenable, and I'm simply tired of living in this angry city. Of course, I also know that the grass always seems greener, and generally never is. Sometimes, a change of any sort, is good.

I'll keep you guys posted.

 

[MisterE]

My advice would be for her to be very sure she wants to walk away from a fulltime orchestra gig before doing so. If she is, she should take a leave of absence or sabbatacal to have the option open during transition. Symphony jobs are extremely hard to get and the jobs that are still out there are disappearing rapidly. I'm sure she's aware of this. In '98 I resigned (not leave of absence) from an orchestra up in the US and in retrospect, I would not do the same today. It becomes easy to forget how lucky you are to have a job like that when you do it every day. When it's gone the reality hits you in the face. Something like 1% of people who study music at the college level will end up making their living in a fulltime orchestra.

 

[MartinH]

My advice would be for her to be very sure she wants to walk away from a fulltime orchestra gig before doing so. If she is, she should take a leave of absence or sabbatacal to have the option open during transition. Symphony jobs are extremely hard to get and the jobs that are still out there are disappearing rapidly. I'm sure she's aware of this. In '98 I resigned (not leave of absence) from an orchestra up in the US and in retrospect, I would not do the same today. It becomes easy to forget how lucky you are to have a job like that when you do it every day. When it's gone the reality hits you in the face. Something like 1% of people who study music at the college level will end up making their living in a fulltime orchestra.

Yeah, I know. She has the same worries. I think the real issue, is that we're not sure she'll get a leave of absence. And then, if I have to give up my job.... oy wey! It's very, very stressful. Of course, she'd rather teach than anything. She loves teaching more than anything else. So, I think this would be a great thing for her. It's just very, very scary.

Thanks, Mr. E.

I'll let you know what happens in the next few days.

 

[dshpipes]

Hey, maybe I should be a "house husband" spend my time smoking my pipes, carving some, and working on my writing?

Bing-o!

Personally, I would not mention your part of it until the job is actually offered. They're less likely to give the job to her if they think that they'll have to inconvenience themselves before she even gets hired. Let them decide if they want her first and then when she gets the "you're hired!" call, she can inquire about other positions for you. That way, they're committed and will more than likely be interested in helping someone that they've gone through the process of selecting, instead of having that as a reason to weed her out.

Just my 2 cents.

Good luck to you both!

 

[jlong]

It depends on the profession and the shortage of workers as to how you negotiate. If there are 12 people in line for the job, accept what they offer or walk. If there are only two people in line, cross your fingers you demonstrate the better skills and take it from there.

I work in the engineering field and when there is a shortage of help, I can command premium pay. However, when the work load slacks off, I can expect to be canned.

It all boils down to supply and demand and knowing truely how valuable you are to what field.

 

[clueless]

I am in the Executive Recruiting business. While your situation is unique, the issues are ones that we have encountered before. It happens enough that there is a term for it. Did you know that you may be a 'trailing spouse'?

I would be shocked if your concerns don't come up at some time during the interview/courting process whether you plan it or not. The organization that is interviewing your wife knows that sh is not local. If they don't talk about relocation and the attendant issues RUN. They are not operating in the real world.

You are real people, she's going to work for real people. Be open and talk about concerns. If it is going to work these are going to be co-workers. The work, organization, and opportunity should, of course, dominate discussions but the other stuff will come up, too.

That being said, there are success strategies that can be aapplied to help secure the best compensation and fringe packages. Among those is the previousy stated practice of being absolutely frank about compensation history and totally non-committal and open regarding compensation and fringe requirements until the time of offer. The time worn adage about the first one to quote price being the loser in price negotiations definitely applies here.

Good luck. You are embarking on what could be a very rewarding and exciting time.

Feel free to PM if you want.

 

[MartinH]

I am in the Executive Recruiting business. While your situation is unique, the issues are ones that we have encountered before. It happens enough that there is a term for it. Did you know that you may be a 'trailing spouse'?

I would be shocked if your concerns don't come up at some time during the interview/courting process whether you plan it or not. The organization that is interviewing your wife knows that sh is not local. If they don't talk about relocation and the attendant issues RUN. They are not operating in the real world.

You are real people, she's going to work for real people. Be open and talk about concerns. If it is going to work these are going to be co-workers. The work, organization, and opportunity should, of course, dominate discussions but the other stuff will come up, too.

That being said, there are success strategies that can be aapplied to help secure the best compensation and fringe packages. Among those is the previousy stated practice of being absolutely frank about compensation history and totally non-committal and open regarding compensation and fringe requirements until the time of offer. The time worn adage about the first one to quote price being the loser in price negotiations definitely applies here.

Good luck. You are embarking on what could be a very rewarding and exciting time.

Feel free to PM if you want.

Thanks to everyone for their response. "clueless" you're definitely NOT clueless- LOL. I'll probably be PM'ing you!

I really appreciate all the help!

Heck, in the next few months, who know, we might become mid-westerners! Nothing wrong with that!