Sasquatch's Crappy Pipe Challenge.

[Sasquatch]

I'm talking all kinds of crap in a few other threads and on a few other boards.

Here's the sting. I want someone to send me a hopeless pipe. I want a pipe that smokes hot and wet, a pipe that consistently underperforms. This must be a pipe from a substantial enough collection to be judged fairly as a "crappy pipe". I would prefer a pipe from a member who has many years of experience. I want to be absolutely certain that the pipe in question is a dud.

I will open the pipe up, document it's ailments photographically, re-tool the pipe in whatever way i see fit, and return the pipe to the owner, free of charge. So. This must be a pipe that the "winner" feels comfortable with me fooling around with. It is conceivable that I will destroy the stem, in which case I will hand-cut a new one for the pipe. Bear this in mind. You are sending me a pipe upon which to perform restorative, life-saving surgery.

Step right up, show me a picture, I will select the victim. Er, winner. Yes. :cheers:

 

[Ocelot55]

This is awesome! I get boxes full of crappy estate pipes all the time. I'm going to try to find the worst and send it to good ol' Sas for a makeover.

 

[Sasquatch]

I will need photos of candidate pipes, posted here, from which I will select what I think is the pipe most likely to benefit most dramatically from re-engineering (toot toot!).

 

[Anonymous]

Can't get the hoops this place requires jumped through.

Can I e-mail you the pics (same pipe) ? Old-time Castello that will challenge you. Drilled HUGE through the shank & the forward end of the stem, then pinhole for an inch or so.

Mind-boggling. I can get it to work, but it's a job.

PS : the "free" offer will not be accepted. Good work deserves fair compensation.

:face:

 

[Sasquatch]

Yes email me at BriarSweatandTears at Gmail dot com.

The Castello sounds like an easy victory, although if it's drilled bigger than 11/64 it... might require some real trickery.

 

[Anonymous]

8)

:face:

 

[dshpipes]

Not at home right now, but I've got a pipe or two that are worth entering. I'll post photos this evening.

 

[sstodvictory]

Hey! I have a BST sitting around that's like that!

(just kidding)

Steve

 

[Sasquatch]

Send it back to the manufacturer - he'll trade it out for a vintage "Real Bruyere" I've heard.

 

[J Soshae]

Grats Sas on hitting the 1k post mark. :cheers:

 

[Sasquatch]

Stupid 1000 times equals smart! :cheers:

 

[Kyle Weiss]

Stupid 1000 times equals smart! :cheers:

:lol!: I must be levitating in stupid at this point.

Love,

Going Nowhere Fast With Posts Weiss

8)

 

[MisterE]

I guess the definition of sanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. :scratch: :albino:

 

[taharris]

How about this one Sas? It should be easy for you to whip into shape. :twisted:

Todd

 

[Sasquatch]

That's a looker Harris - you're starting to get the hang of this pipe smoking thing, huh?

 

[dshpipes]

Geez! After seeing Todd's pipe, I hesitate to enter mine.

Exhibit #1:

This is a bent diamond shanked apple that I got from my Uncle Bill. He smoked this thing into oblivion. After the shank cracked in two places, he wrapped the tenon in scotch tape so it would continue to fit. When I got the pipe, I removed the tape and now the tenon no longer has a friction fit to the mortise, or any fit, for that matter. When I got this pipe, there was so much cake in it that you couldn't fit a pencil in the chamber. I already removed the cake in the beginnings of an attempt at restoration, but then just gave up. This pipe would require some serious work to bring back to life.

Exhibit #2:

This is an Oom Paul that I got from the same Uncle. The tenon actually fits in the mortise. There's a crack on the back of the shank that runs from the stem/shank junction to about an inch towards the bowl. The stem could definitely use some love. This pipe as well as the apple have what appears to be some very nice cross grain. However the pipe has been smoked so thoroughly over the decades that he owned it that the grain is almost imperceptible now. There was also an extremely thick cake in the chamber when I got it. Like the apple, I removed much of the cake in an attempt to restore the pipe, but gave up.

Kinda wish I hadn't removed the cake on either of these babies. They probably would've been considered contenders!

 

[Anonymous]

Get some FRESH superglue (not the past-date crap in the grocery store).

Work it into the cracks & squeeze for a minute or so.

Clean up any overflow inside (or out) with acetone.

Fixed.

 

[Growley]

Just to be sure I'm getting the point of this contest, the idea is to show that you can make a poorly smoking pipe smoke great, right? Or are you showing off your refurbishing skills? Or both?

Brian.

 

[Kyle Weiss]

Just to be sure I'm getting the point of this contest, the idea is to show that you can make a poorly smoking pipe smoke great, right? Or are you showing off your refurbishing skills? Or both?

Brian.

Brian, for your lengthy-reading pleasure :lol: :

https://www.brothersofbriar.com/t18594-they-have-a-soul-and-smoke-impossibly-well

 

[dshpipes]

Just reread that thread and reread the challenge. This ain't a refurb challenge... so my bad.

I only have one pipe that smokes horribly and I've only smoked it once for that reason. It's a cheapo carved indian head briar that was gifted to me and is precious for that reason. The airway meets the chamber a bit high, I can't even get a skinny pipe cleaner past the button of the stem, and it gurgles like a maniac. If you'd like to give it a whirl, it might be just the ticket for this challenge. Below is a photo.