I love these kinds of "scientific" studies. They manage to make every news outlet, but you can never find the actual study and are never able to see just how they tested and what the baseline is for the study.
So as my contribution to the scientific world, I have conducted my own study and for the first time will post the results here. (Mainly because the AP refuses to even talk to me)
1) Due to an increase in airplanes flying, people stand a greater risk of an airplane falling out of the sky and hitting them. This risk is even greater on pipe smokers as they may see the airplane before it hits them and jump out of the way. When jumping, they risk dropping their beloved briar and breaking it. This will result in depression and stress to the pipe smoker which could also be a health risk.
2) Due to an increase in automobiles, people stand a greater risk of misplacing their keys. This risk is even greater on pipe smokers as they will not realize the keys have been misplaced until they are getting ready to go to the local B&M to pick-up more of their favorite blend. This will cause anxiety and stress. There is also a possibility of depression if the pipe smoker eventually does find their keys but discovers that they are too late and that the B&M has closed for the day.
3) Due to an increase in computers, there is a greater risk of hard drives failing. This has a much greater impact on pipe smokers as the drive will no doubt crash when the smoker is about ready to place a large online order to their favorite tobacco etailer or when they are ready to bid on that perfect piece of briar on ebay. This will cause an increase in anxiety and stress. Studies also found that this could have a much greater risk that up until the study was performed was unknown. The pipe smoker, depressed that their hard drive crashed, could decide to drive to the nearest B&M and purchase tobacco products to console themselves. At that time they could run the risk of finding out that they have misplaced their keys. After searching the entire house and not finding their keys, they could decide to look outside for the keys. While looking outside, no doubt looking down at the ground, they may not notice an airplane falling out of the sky and as an end result the airplane could hit them.
I'm sure that I had more results but I somehow misplaced the cocktail napkin that I was using to record the results on.
I think the one thing that I realized by performing this "scientific" study is that:
Life is way too short to worry about it. Enjoy life like there is no tomorrow with no regrets. Enjoy that steak, pipe, or drink because you never know what the next day will bring.
Randy