Signs you are getting old

[Bub]

When you are young you GOOGLE them.
When you are old you OBIT them.

 

[Puff Daddy]

Scroll forward to 5:35 in the following video, it addresses just that very issue

I highly recommend watching the whole thing, I believe there are 7 or 8 pparts. The guy is my hero

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[Bub]

Thanks PD, great video.
Now we can OBIT AND DELETE.

 

[sstodvictory]

Bought a 2005 Mercury Grand Marquis LS this afternoon. Not "my father's Oldmobile", but pretty close to it. I guess this means I'm getting old.

31K miles, one owner, spotless condition, everything works, passed mechanic's inspection, $11,200.

Steve

 

[pipetongue1]

Remembering when

 

[Ol'Dawg]

Someone sent me this a while back and thought I would share.

Your Age as Determined by a Trip to Home Depot.

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house...mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room,or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit...shorts with
the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job.

Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in
the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favourite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your
hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes
and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot.
Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you
feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on; wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog
doo-doo in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, "I Got Worms".

In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog doo-doo off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in
your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but
you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog
doo-doo on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and
wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school
with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

In your 90's & beyond:
What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?

 

[Centurian 803]

Ole Dawg you are soooooo right!

 

[puros_bran]

Great I turned 60 in my 20's, 70 in my 30's..... I'm screwed.

 

[Anonymous]

Getting old is when you suddenly wake up in the morning and find that the wrong body parts are stiff and the thing that counts is not!!! :lol!:

 

[RonA3597]

Piet, I heard the same thing said a little differently - I can remember when it was a good thing to wake up stiff in the morning. :affraid:

 

[Anonymous]

RON.... well put!! :lol!: :lol!:

 

[Natch]

Looking in the mirror every morning and seeing my grandpa on a really bad day looking back at me. As I'm a teacher, I've got dozens of student's that let me know how old I am daily. Talk about the Vietnam War and they look at you like it's the Trojan War!

Natch

 

[Natch]

Getting old is when you suddenly wake up in the morning and find that the wrong body parts are stiff and the thing that counts is not!!! :lol!:

The way I've heard it is it used to watch me shave in the morning, now it checks to see if my shoes are tied.

Natch

 

[Anonymous]

Natch...... brilliant!
:lol!: :lol!: :lol!:

 

[Carlos]

I just figured that it gets tired of trying to look around the ever increasing belly, and just gives up.

 

[Handsome Dynamite]

I'm 19, I'm not even mentioned in that Home Depot thing yet....

And it just so happens that I work at Home Depot...

 

[Ol'Dawg]

I'm 19, I'm not even mentioned in that Home Depot thing yet....

And it just so happens that I work at Home Depot...

Feel free to add a description of your personal routine for your age group. My memory doesn't go back that far.

And for that matter what you've observed for the different age groups entering the Home Depot where you work.

Jim

 

[Handsome Dynamite]

20-30 shopping at home depot have no idea what they're doing or what they need.

30-45 year old showing up in clean clothes and pressed shirts have even less idea what they need and expect the workers to be electricians, plumbers, carpenters, landscapers ect.

30-45 year old people who show up dirty or casual know exactly what they need and will only ask questions if they need something cut, we recently got a new line of products or we're out of something.

45-65 year old will get side tracked by everything else that is on sale there and think of what else they can do with their house.

65+ and I wonder what they're doing in Home Depot... they might too.

 

[NeroWolfe]

You are officially old (at least a man is) when urinating is much more pleasurable than sex!!!!