Actually, although I didn't say so on the welcome thread I had an ulterior motive in joining BoB and that is to get the help of such knowledgeable pipe smokers on a little problem that I have. I think it's probably best if I give you the whole story:
Recently, I was travelling in the South Pacific and due to a storm my plane was forced down on a landing strip on the small island of Mombaru; The pilot told me that there were many such islands in the area that aren't on any map. Curiously, on this island there is a an old culture of pipe smoking that dates back into the misty labyrinths of time. According to the pilot, the islanders grow a very interesting tobacco, which is almost identical to the original Balkan Sobranie, but with a subtle casing akin to the mythical ambrosia of the gods. Also, this sublime weed has the interesting property that the mystical, contemplative life that results from smoking it (they use conch shell pipes, I think, but one cant be sure...) acts as a truth drug and so it's absolutely impossible for a Mombaran pipe smoker to ever tell a lie.
I understand that at one time all the islanders were in fact pipe smokers (who wouldn't be with such a miraculous weed to toke on), but some time ago an anti-smoking zealot arrived on the island as a missionary and converted about half of the population into non smokers. So now, tragically, about half the population are smokers and the other half are not. And worse, the lies and deceit of the anti smoking lobby, along with the enforced lack of pipe smoke has resulted in an unfortunate situation whereby none of the non smokers on the island can ever tell the truth. Sad, but true.
When, the pilot told me this story, over the sound of the engines as he wrestled the twin engined plane into the tiny Mombaran landing strip, I asked him if I could obtain some of the wonderful tobacco grown by the islanders. But he told me that it would be very difficult. What you need to do, he said, is to determine which of the islanders are pipe smokers and which are not. That's very hard, he said, because, not only do the pipe smokers do all their smoking in secret (so that the missionary can't catch them at it), but the islanders are given to answering any questions about pipe smoking in oblique ways, again so as not to offend the missionary. if you combine that with the fact that smokers always tell the truth and non smokers always lie, you can see the problem.
On landing, I noticed three houses quite close to the landing strip and I immediately went to visit them:
At the First house, I knocked on the door and it was immediately opened by a Mombaran native and his wife. Gauging my words carefully I said: "Which, if either of you is a pipe smoker and which if either is a non smoker?". "Neither of us are smokers", the Mombaran native yelled and slammed the door.
At the Second house, thinking that it might be like the first, I asked: "Are you both non smokers?". "At least one of us is", replied the native turning his back contemptuosly.
At the third house the native, when questioned on the subject, responded: "If I am a pipe smoker then so is my wife".
After that the pilot came to fetch me and we had to leave without having scored any tobacco. Now in order to return to Mombaru to get some tobacco I need to know in each case which of the natives and their wives in the huts near to the landing strip are pipe smokers and which are not pipe smokers. It would never do to approach a non smoker as the missionary would get to know and I need to approach as many pipe smokers as possible to get the maximum amount of weed. So can anyone help? If all works out you will, of course, be rewarded with Mombaran pipe weed (if you aren't married).
Recently, I was travelling in the South Pacific and due to a storm my plane was forced down on a landing strip on the small island of Mombaru; The pilot told me that there were many such islands in the area that aren't on any map. Curiously, on this island there is a an old culture of pipe smoking that dates back into the misty labyrinths of time. According to the pilot, the islanders grow a very interesting tobacco, which is almost identical to the original Balkan Sobranie, but with a subtle casing akin to the mythical ambrosia of the gods. Also, this sublime weed has the interesting property that the mystical, contemplative life that results from smoking it (they use conch shell pipes, I think, but one cant be sure...) acts as a truth drug and so it's absolutely impossible for a Mombaran pipe smoker to ever tell a lie.
I understand that at one time all the islanders were in fact pipe smokers (who wouldn't be with such a miraculous weed to toke on), but some time ago an anti-smoking zealot arrived on the island as a missionary and converted about half of the population into non smokers. So now, tragically, about half the population are smokers and the other half are not. And worse, the lies and deceit of the anti smoking lobby, along with the enforced lack of pipe smoke has resulted in an unfortunate situation whereby none of the non smokers on the island can ever tell the truth. Sad, but true.
When, the pilot told me this story, over the sound of the engines as he wrestled the twin engined plane into the tiny Mombaran landing strip, I asked him if I could obtain some of the wonderful tobacco grown by the islanders. But he told me that it would be very difficult. What you need to do, he said, is to determine which of the islanders are pipe smokers and which are not. That's very hard, he said, because, not only do the pipe smokers do all their smoking in secret (so that the missionary can't catch them at it), but the islanders are given to answering any questions about pipe smoking in oblique ways, again so as not to offend the missionary. if you combine that with the fact that smokers always tell the truth and non smokers always lie, you can see the problem.
On landing, I noticed three houses quite close to the landing strip and I immediately went to visit them:
At the First house, I knocked on the door and it was immediately opened by a Mombaran native and his wife. Gauging my words carefully I said: "Which, if either of you is a pipe smoker and which if either is a non smoker?". "Neither of us are smokers", the Mombaran native yelled and slammed the door.
At the Second house, thinking that it might be like the first, I asked: "Are you both non smokers?". "At least one of us is", replied the native turning his back contemptuosly.
At the third house the native, when questioned on the subject, responded: "If I am a pipe smoker then so is my wife".
After that the pilot came to fetch me and we had to leave without having scored any tobacco. Now in order to return to Mombaru to get some tobacco I need to know in each case which of the natives and their wives in the huts near to the landing strip are pipe smokers and which are not pipe smokers. It would never do to approach a non smoker as the missionary would get to know and I need to approach as many pipe smokers as possible to get the maximum amount of weed. So can anyone help? If all works out you will, of course, be rewarded with Mombaran pipe weed (if you aren't married).
