Update

[Stick]

Hi folks,

Hope you're all well and have been bearing up to these extraordinary times. I've been thinking of you all and hope you're all still smiling.

I've not been on the forum for a bit as the first half of this year has been pretty tough for me and has led to my capacity for anything outside of day-to-day living being completely shot. I really don't want to drip about things as there's always someone else who's worse off, but briefly and by way of explanation for my absence, after 23 years of marriage my wife and I have taken the decision to go our separate ways. Not an easy decision, especially as we have children and a house, but after trying so hard for several years and exploring all options I'm deeply saddened to report we really have reached the end of the line. All my focus has been on trying to maintain a stable environment for the children and just surviving each day. Our house is now on the market, solicitors involved, and we're moving painfully forward. We'll get it sorted though and the future will be brighter for us all, most importantly the children!

I'll try to swing be from time-to-time but it may be some time before I'm a regular again.

Wishing you all warmest wishes,

Stick.

 

[Brewdude]

OMG! That is so very sad Stick. Very hard to take in. I'm saddened to learn this and can only wish you the best as you move forward through this crisis. Anything you need from me just ask.


No Cheers, :no:

RR

 

[Stick]

OMG! That is so very sad Stick. Very hard to take in. I'm saddened to learn this and can only wish you the best as you move forward through this crisis. Anything you need from me just ask.


No Cheers,  :no:

RR

...thanks Rande. Yes Sir, very sad. Just when you think you've got life cracked! I've always said it's difficult to tell what's just around the corner and it's just jumped up and bit me on the butt. Certainly didn't sign up for this!

Soldier on!

Good to catch up Rande.

 

[eggman]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope the children and yourself weather the storm ok. As someone that has been there and done that it can be rough.

 

[D.L.Ruth]

Sorry to hear this, hope you all come through ok. My parents split up when I was about 14, it's a rough ride but survivable. Glad to hear from you and best of luck!

 

[Carlos]

All the best!

 

[SteveMKentucky]

So sorry to hear this Stick.

I've found myself a bit depressed these days what with what's going on in general in our country, but nothing compares to the challenges of the situation that you find yourself in.  It's easy for me to say that you should just 'hang in there' but I can't imagine how my life would be upended by such a change.

Nonetheless, I hope that you find strength within yourself to hold everything together and make the best of what you do have.  

All the best brother...

 

[Fr_Tom]

You are in a tough place for sure. My heart goes out to you. Once things settle a little, check in and let us know how you have landed.

 

[DrT999]

It's not easy to make that kind of decision, but I hope it works out well for you (and the children).

 

[Blackhorse]

Tough deal Stick. Hoping all sides of your family are able to recover well and move on in happiness. Time heals all wounds.

 

[Stick]

Thanks chaps.

Tough times indeed but we will all get through it.

A few things I have learnt so far...

Despite being on the receiving end of it, blame is not helpful. I recognise that we’re not compatible anymore and that is a healthier outlook.

No matter how hard, maintaining one’s integrity is really important.

It’s been vital to have an outlet. For me this has been my training. I’ve been getting some serious miles in on my bike and this has proven the perfect escape.

 

[Corncobcon]

Sad to hear this. Best of luck to you, Stick.

 

[peanubutter]

Sorry to hear things are not working out. I did feel a sense of relief when my divorce was over and clearing of the mind was great.

 

[ftrplt]

Stick,

Went down this road many years ago. Not fun, mentally challenging, physically exhausting, plus being a heartbreaking experience all 'round. I'll be thinking of you as these days pass. Bless you and your family. FTRPLT

 

[Bub]

My best also...bikes are great for a variety things

 

[Stick]

Gosh chaps, some really kind words there that mean an awful lot.

A heart felt thank you to you all.

 

[History Prof 1861]

Stick if you need anything please reach out

You’re training sounds like the ticket there to overcome the stess.

 

[Timbo]

Sad news to hear Stick. When my ex broke things off after thirteen years, I was gutted. Now after a few years, I can look back and see that she was right and we’re both much happier and I’m certainly better off mentally. Keeping it as amenable as possible really helped the kids too.

Chin up mate, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

And if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

Best of British Stick.

Tim

 

[BriarBeagle]

Stick,

My heart goes out to you. I can relate as I've been in this situation myself.

From my own experience, I made a decision from the get go to always take the high road and behave in a manor that is most beneficial for my kid. For me that meant constant reassurance that she was loved by both of us, and while we were not going to be "husband and wife", nothing had changed with our identities as "mom and dad". It also meant not expressing anger openly in front of them, always speaking positively about my (ex) wife, and never using them as a weapon or a bargaining chip as we hashed out the terms of our agreement. It really made all the difference. Today we are happy, well-adjusted, and my relationship with my ex is better than it has ever been.

Hang in there my friend. Even under the best of circumstances divorce is wrought with financial and emotional challenges. I have confidence that you will emerge on the other side a happier and more peaceful person.

My thoughts are with you, brother.

Beagle