What Beard size are you?

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Aussiemike

Aussiemike

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Queensland, Australia
I have seen these t-shirts over the years and thought they were funny. I have ordered one.
ZZtop guys would have to be at least wizards. I would be probably hillbilly/sea captain or trucker/santa on second picture, won't know till I get the shirt :LOL:
I went to the doctors last week and chatted to the receptionist and she commented "Its almost xmas we will be wrapping presents soon". I came back with"yeah I get to do my yearly job,hope you have been good" She started to laugh then tried to composed herself :LOL::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
I am glad the mask restrictions are over as with a mask on " I looked like a 70s bikini line":LOL:
What are you?

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ZZ top
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My schedule used to be two months > trim to stubble > two months > trim to stubble... I tried shaping it and doing all kinds of different things to go longer, but after around 8 weeks, it drove me nuts. For a couple years, I let just my chin area keep growing longer than that before also trimming it. I was reminded of that last night watching the Dodgers' closer finish up the pennant. His was trimmed, but he looks like a tool anyway. I'm glad I don't take photos of myself, because there would be evidence that I was that same tool, but 10Xs it. Never anything that would even hit those charts though.

I wanted to someday look like Hermann Nitsch, but there is no way I could do it.
 
I was at about the caveman level 2-3 years ago. Now, about every month, I trim to about 1/4 inch. FWIW, I read that selenium is important for the hormone that supports beard growth, so I get mine by eating 2 brazil nut a day. No more than that, as you can get too much of that.
 
I'm between a saint and a professor per the beard chart on exhibit 1. Always keep beard trimmed to 1/8-1/4" or 4-6mm. Only shaved it off between Fall of '98 to Spring of 2000. Else have had beard since I was discharged, (Honorably), from the USAF. I think the highest ranking beard as displayed on chest of exhibit 1 is unruly, and Neandertal like. I'd love to go around with a long pair of shears and.... paint your own picture.
 
I just remembered I went to this barber once. He lite a match and waved around my ears to burn the hair off, I almost shit myself. He had a huge collection of straight razors displayed and 2 or 3 posters of Sweeny todd https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweeney_Todd on the wall. You couldn't tell him the way you wanted your hair cut "he knew best" seriously :LOL::ROFLMAO:
 
Aussiemike said:
I just remembered I went to this barber once. He lite a match and waved around my ears to burn the hair off, I almost shit myself. He had a huge collection of straight razors displayed and 2 or 3 posters of Sweeny todd https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweeney_Todd on the wall. You couldn't tell him the way you wanted your hair cut "he knew best" seriously :LOL::ROFLMAO:
Click to expand...
That’s hilarious and disturbing at the same time. 😂😂
 
Got a Turkish barber for my local one and he does the match/lighter trick for ear hair too.

He also does a weird threading thing with string.

Here's a vid of both of the above in practice.

 
I'm one of the few who has no facial foliage. My sons have experimented off and on, and my sons-in-law sport them; but at my advanced age, my wife says I wouldn't look good with a spotty, salt-and-pepper beard. I wonder whether smoking a pipe would make a beard smell like dead ash.
 
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