Ran Into An Old Friend Yesterday

RSteve · Feb 3, 2022

I had to pick up a prescription at a drugstore about a mile from my house. In the store, I ran into a fellow I hadn't seen in years. He's pushing 80 years old and looks every year of it. We chatted for a bit and he asked me if I could drive him home. He's been living in the same low income apartment for well over thirty years. He'd been a successful CPA, married in his mid to late 40s to a much younger woman. Within a couple of years of his marriage, they had two sons and his wife filed for divorce. She wanted minimal custody of the sons, apparently wanting a return to the single life. My friend took a job with the USPS as an overnight mail sorter, so he could be home during the day to raise his boys. He hired a series of women to spend nights at his apartment to keep an eye on his sons while they slept and he worked. Although he had primary physical custody of the boys, by MN law, he and the ex had joint custody and he had to pay child support, even though the boys lived with him and he paid all their expenses.
Between child support, expenses for the boys, the overnight attendants, and his relatively low USPS income, he couldn't afford a house or car. Once the boys were school age, his friends, me included, encouraged him to return to his accounting profession, perhaps within USPS. For a reason none of us could understand, he was determined to continue his overnight mail sorting job.

Then one day, when his sons were about eight and six, I ran into him at a local supermarket with the boys and a toddler girl in a stroller. "Did you get married again?" I asked him. He just chuckled and said that his ex had remarried, had this little girl, and divorced. The little girl's father was a dead-beat and had left town. He took the little girl on weekends to give his ex a break and, as he said, "It's really the only time my sons get to spend with their sister."

On the way to his apartment, I learned that he retired at age 70, both of his sons are successful professionals, neither is married, and both live outside of MN. The little girl is now a woman in her 30s and although they aren't biologically related, have a close father/daughter relationship.

I asked him if he'd had done things differently, had he any indication how his life would unfold. He said, "Not really. I have a nice pension and my needs are modest. Everything worked out for the best."

Not a scintilla of bitterness or regret. I could not be as selfless.

Brewdude · Feb 3, 2022

Great attitude, although very likely most wouldn't look at it that way.

Cheers,

RR

RSteve · Feb 3, 2022

It is interesting how people have different perspectives on life. I hadn't seen a very close high school friend in many years. He was divorced, was and is quite wealthy, and had one daughter with his ex. I attended a school awards ceremony where my brother's son and several others were being presented with an award. My friend's daughter was also being presented an award. Each of students getting awards was given a couple of minutes on stage to thank their parents, teachers, and others.
My friend's daughter, very pointedly, thanked her single mother, "who had raised her, alone without help, to make her the young woman she'd become." There was not a mention of her father, my friend, who I am certain was paying a ton of child support and maintenance.
Flash forward many years to our H.S. class 70th birthday party. He offers his condolences on my wife's passing and asks if I'm dating. I reply, "Rarely, how about you?"
His reply, "I have three things important in my life, my pacemaker, my c-pap, and my dog."

DWSmith · Feb 8, 2022

He has one good one out of three. The more people I meet the more I like my dog.

Ranger107 · Feb 8, 2022

I have a sign in my den. It says, be the person your dog thinks you are. Feel sorry for him. I have 3 important things in my life as well. A loving wife, a sweet dog, and a good horse, lol.