that's something my grandpa would've said...

[bruins]

i enjoy old expressions. i heard a good one the other day and i realized, who would have more old expressions than a bunch of gnarly pipe smokers! so if you have any good ones, please share. here's the one i heard yesterday from a southern woman:

"when your trying to protect your ass from all the alligators, it's hard to remember your main objective was to drain the swamp."

here's a favorite of mine. anytime you'd say something surprising, this old farmer friend of my would say, "well don't that just flip your hat into the creek!"

 

[RB-5]

I got a ton of them. My go to however is: Weather you think you can, or you think you can't, you are exactly right. I am also a big fan of "If if's were 5ths we'd all be drunk" and "Don't piss on my shoulder and tell me it's raining" My old abusive step daddy would always say "S@#t fire and save matches! anytime something surprised him. I also like this old Egyptian chestnut "A beautiful thing is never perfect".

 

[Falconer]

My grandpa would always refer to a large amount as "4011". LIke "there's 4011 birds out there on the fence" or "he made 4011 attempts and still couldn't hit the ball." It was years later I found out that 4011 used to be the international code at the register for bananas. [a bunch]

He also would say "The good jobs don't pay."

 

[Doc Manhattan]

"People are no damn good."

Grampa even had cufflinks that said it.

(Of course, he meant *people*--as opposed to *folks*. Pipe smoking is full of folks, who tend to the good. William S. Burroughs had another way of sorting out these two groups that I like very much, though it is NSFW in the highest, be aware.)

 

[Anonymous]

My grandfather (a farmer) didnt have little sayings, he just had interesting (to us) words he used. A grocery bag to me was a poke to him, fence staples were steeples, pimples were called F*** bumps. He raised hound dogs so a female that was breedable he called a bitch (the correct term) of course as kids we giggled about it. When we were little kids he really tried not to cuss around us, so would substitute words like aww shaw! instead of ahh shit!

 

[Anonymous]

"Remember boy, when you find yourself down shit creek without a paddle be sure to give me a call"
Here is one for my Afrikaans brothers!!!!
Jirre seun dis so goed jy vee jou gat met kak af...........
wow man, that as good as wiping your ass with Sh*t!

 

[bruins]

"Remember boy, when you find yourself down shit creek without a paddle be sure to give me a call"
Here is one for my Afrikaans brothers!!!!
Jirre seun dis so goed jy vee jou gat met kak af...........
wow man, that as good as wiping your ass with Sh*t!

i figured you'd have some good ones piet. (there seems to be a lot of shit in your country...)

 

[Natch]

Piet, interesting the similarities yet subtle differences in sayings between cultures. It's "up" shit creek over hear, but same meaning. Or to "re-invent the wheel" here but to "re-invent fire" throughout much of Latin America.

My favorite was one all my friends went through, when you're standing in front of your dad after doing something increadable dumb, dangerous, or stupid (that always seemed like the coolest idea only moments earlier when you thought of it and just before it went very wrong!), he's say, "what the hell were you thinking?" And we would allways reply "Iduknow?" with our shoulders hunched up.

Natch

 

[RB-5]

Bruins you should check this out. It is related to this thread. This guy tweets all the crazy stuff his dad says to him. It is highly not safe for work but funny none the less

http://twitter.com/sh*tmydadsays

just erase the * and add a i

 

[bruins]

thanks man. actually, i'd read a few of his posts and about died laughing, but i lost it. so am glad to have it again.

 

[Anonymous]

Piet, interesting the similarities yet subtle differences in sayings between cultures. It's "up" shit creek over hear, but same meaning. Or to "re-invent the wheel" here but to "re-invent fire" throughout much of Latin America.

My favorite was one all my friends went through, when you're standing in front of your dad after doing something increadable dumb, dangerous, or stupid (that always seemed like the coolest idea only moments earlier when you thought of it and just before it went very wrong!), he's day, "what the hell were you thinking?" And we would allways reply "Iduknow?" with our shoulders hunched up.

Natch

Interesting Natch!!!!

Bruins, you now need to learn, Say "KAK" this is Afrikaans For Sh*T and yea it's flying here man!!!

 

[Anonymous]

I had heard about this, never checked it out till now. Some damn funny stuff. :lol:

 

[bruins]

Bruins, you now need to learn, Say "KAK" this is Afrikaans For Sh*T and yea it's flying here man!!!

good for gardening...

my father-in-law has a couple good ones. if something's good he says, "that's just like a sore pecker." (you can't beat it!)

if something is no good, like a movie, he says, "that has much vacuum." (it sucks.)

 

[Anonymous]

Bruins, you now need to learn, Say "KAK" this is Afrikaans For Sh*T and yea it's flying here man!!!

good for gardening...

my father-in-law has a couple good ones. if something's good he says, "that's just like a sore pecker." (you can't beat it!)

if something is no good, like a movie, he says, "that has much vacuum." (it sucks.)

:lol!: :lol!: :lol!:
Here we would say, "That sucks Sh*t"

 

[bruins]

:lol!: :lol!: :lol!:
Here we would say, "That sucks Sh*t"

i should have guessed. what do you say when you have to go poop?

 

[Anonymous]

:lol!: :lol!: :lol!:
Here we would say, "That sucks Sh*t"

i should have guessed. what do you say when you have to go poop?

Pinch a loaf!!
Push Putty!

 

[bruins]

Push Putty!

:cheers: over here we call that mud butt (when it just won't come clean).

 

[Anonymous]

Push Putty!

:cheers: over here we call that mud butt (when it just won't come clean).

Reminds me,
What does the Starship Enterprise have in common with toilet paper???
They both circumnavigate planet Uranus searching for Clingons!!!

 

[beebiz]

One of my favorites that quickly comes to mind is something an elderly friend of mine used to say when he saw or heard of a fellow doing something exceptionally stupid. He'd say, "That feller's got his head so far up his ass he can see what he had for breakfast next Friday!" The first time I heard that, I thought they would have to take me to the hospital to get me some oxygen from laughing so much!!

Another one was said by a neighbor or mine. He'd say it when someone asked him for something that was impossible or that he didn't do. He'd say, "I'll get right on that... the second Tuesday of next week!"

Another was used by my ex-father-in-law when referring to how "rich" a food (especially something sweet) was. He'd say, "That's about as rich as a foot up a bull's ass!"

I got a bunch more. But, those are the ones that quickly come to mind!

 

[Anonymous]

:lol!: :lol!: nice Rob!